My ocean

Life is good.... Really good! Things are moving fast and slowing down all at once. In October I accepted a job in suburban Chicago, packed up all my possessions...not much (It all fit in my car) but I like living lite at least right now. I was just happy to have a job that was within my field, wasn't somewhere I didn't want to be (Ok there really weren't that many places that I didn't want to be) and actually was going to pay me. Wow my job has exceeded that by 100 fold. I'm working directly in the area of the field I want to be working in with way more responsibility and opportunity that I would've ever dared to hope for. My two bosses are great and the companies future looks really bright. I was just thinking about an analogy for my life.... I feel like half way through senior year of college I got out of the cruise ship and into a life raft. I was out at sea but I didn't have much figured out or nailed down and then I got an intership and stayed out at sea. My internship was initially only going to be 7 months but the job market was still tough and things in Des Moines were pretty good so I stayed for 5 more months (more time at sea). Life was good. I hope it doesn't sound like I am complaining. It just wasn't solid or very constant. I didn't know where I was going to be living in 8 or less months from 2nd semester Senior year until really this past October. After my internship ended (at which time I still had no job). I thought I was doing alright and stayed in Des Moines for a few months (I was mostly traveling actually). Then finally I decided to move to Minneapolis and move in with good old mom and pop... this would be the "Jonah level" storm of my time at sea analogy. From July to October I was living at my parents. Those might be the 4 hardest months of my life. It was tough. I wondering if I would ever make it into my field or make it at all. When things are hard like that I think it becomes natural to start question things and before you know it you are questioning everything... "Is this because I did or didn't do xy or z"... "Why did I go to college".... "Should I start doing x".... "How do you get into drug dealing!?!?".... okay maybe not the last one. Maybe ;) The call. Man it was unreal. In a sense you know this is how it will happen. 1 call and then suddenly everything changes. 1 call. Its almost sick. Its hard to live like that. But when I got it. SHIT... One of the best moments ever. I got off the phone and couldn't even process it. I just wanted to drive and think. almost like I was just told someone died... sort of. I wasn't suddenly filled with joy, which i think most people would assume is what would happen. It was just to much, there you are going through one of the hardest things... the hardest thing that you have ever experienced with no definitive end and you have questioned and de-solidified almost everything you thought you knew or believed Maybe I'm just bad at handling those things.. maybe I was just afraid that I would find out it wasn't real. I'm not sure why that was my reaction but I just wanted to be alone and try and process it. I think it was probably shock. That feeling of "finally" So then I started the process of packing up and making my way (with about a week stop in Des Moines) to my Aunt and Uncles in St. Charles. I moved in and then started working and has started to smooth out. 1'st paycheck.... INCREDIBLE. Like a thousand pounds lifted off my shoulders. Being broke is pretty damn stressful. I think I would like to not do that again. So here I am still feeling "out at sea". I think this is mostly because I am still living with my aunt and uncle. which has been really great. Coming home to a cook meal is one of the best things of my day to day. It has been good to get time with them and develop a better relationship and my uncle loves bikes/biking so it has been fun to talk about that and learn a little even though I thought I would have so much more time to spend in his "shop" working on bikes with him. Funny how you forget that when you get a job it means you will have a LOT less time than when you are unemployed. Oh well! So I still have not got settled in a place. Honestly 3/4 my stuff is still in boxes in their garage. that's OK, life has been a real joy and I'm loving the adventure. it just isn't settled. still not on solid ground if that makes sense. There is also the lag time of catching up on finances and what not. You don't really budget when you are interning or unemployed... you just live like a cheapskate. I'm adjusting to being able to buy some non necessities like music or clothes. It's pretty cool. Of Monsters and Men is definitely one of the best purchases I have made so far. So I can see land but I still haven't hit the shore. It will come and I should be hitting my stride this spring/summer... honestly I think this summer is going to be incredible. Hopefully have some friends by then. Planning on doing some good traveling and having a bunch of different adventures. Also long days... that part of winter is really hard for me. I'm used to it but it just feels like there is so much more life and energy in the summer. But I do love the process of moving through spring. Its a wonderfully optimistic and hopeful journey every year. What is the day to day like? Well my day to day is good. Lots of work usually 50-60 hrs a week. Which I'm happy about I'm very excited about the opportunities at my work and it is motivating. No, that is not the expectation at my work.. well not exactly. being on top of your work is the expectation but working that many hours isn't. I just know what unemployment is like and I want to establish my reputation here. As well as trying to get as much experience as I can. Plus I don't have a social life so it works out well. After work I head to the gym and run/lift. I spent a lot of time running the past two months because I was training for a race with a friend which I did last weekend and it was great. I have never been a runner but the more I put into it the more I have enjoyed it and I look forward to the mental release. Usually I'm out of the house around 7 and back around 9ish. It is pretty simple but I'm enjoying it and I don't find myself dreading work or watching the clock during the day. I'm usually fighting the clock actually. Travel has really been the thing keeping things busy for me. I traveled the past 4 weekend in a row! This is my first weekend of being around, which has been lazy and great, and next weekend I'm off to Colorado for a ski trip. So that is life now. I think its pretty great. I might not be on land yet but I can see it and I'm getting closer and closer... get an apartment, get settled in a bit, start using christianmingle.com ;) and should be good to go.