Day 31 June 21st Monday

I slept in on Monday and it was wonderful. I waoke up naturally at 7:30, no alarm, no nothing. When I woke up me andHanley decided to play some video games, then we went and got breakfast. After breakfast I went and met with Ben N (Rez Director). It made me miss Mergens but we had a great talk. It was supposed to be about how he ended up at ELC but it turned into him asking me a lot of questions and me talking a lot.

We never even got to his story of being called to ELC. But we are going to met again so he can tell me it. It was really nice to met with him and just develop our relationship some more. After that Hanley and I went down to met Jack for lunch. We had a good time at lunch and then went back to the Mcqueeney's house. We played video games for pretty much the entire afternoon and then we ran some errands and I worked on some stuff,. THne shaunda made us an amazing steak, potatos, and corn on the cob dinner. After that we had to fly up the mountain to be on time,. I also beat Jack three times at PIG. Kelsey's parents are amazing. I can't even explain how great they are, I'm getting in pretty good with Jack, I still am waiting for Hot tub time though. At one point when Hanley and I were in the car I looked over and said "we could do this for the next forty plus years" and he goes "you don't know how f&^^ing good that sounds" LOL it was really funny.

Day 30 June 20th Sunday

Sunday morning was nice, I like having a late breakfast. Kyle, Chris, and I woke up early and went to take a shower (My first in six days). Which would've been amazing but I was sun burnt and I was taking a hot shower to open the pores. Then the three of us went to breakfast and hung out for the morning. It was really good to just hang out with those two guys all morning. We sat out on the balcony and had a blast. We talked about Kyle and my "situations". We might just have to make that a Sunday tradition.

That was followed by chapel and a long time navigator spoke about being called and following. I have started having thoughts about post college and what that will look like. I feel like it is very wide open and I am prepared to follow. I think I will give some serious thought to Edge Corp and BFA (Missionary Kid Boarding school).

Sunday continued with luggage runs, dinnerm and then tent bonding after dinner was amazing we had prepared for two weeks for this tent bonding. We had a highland games competition. We had kilts and sashs. We got all the guys together and changed and out on war paint.

Then we walked out to the area where we were going to play our games. It was a blast and the guys loved it. Afterwards it was my night off so I went with Hanley to the A-frame. I really enjoye4d sleeping in the A-frame because I just kicked it that night with the pc's and we told stories. I actually shared the story about everything that happened with Kira last summer, it was funny to see some of their reactions as well as being able to relate. I really enjoyed it I'm sure I will do it again.

Day 29 Saturday June 29th

DSaturday morning we had a nice late breakfast, after breakfast the campers left for Extended time alone with God (3 hours). I spent most of it cledaning and helping with tent bonding prep. But like the last half hour I was on the computer chillin and it was fantastic.

After ETWAG we hda a picnic lunch to kick off beach day. Beach day was incredible we played lots of volleyball and blob wars. Also it was sunny and hot.I had a great time interacting wiht the kids. I also got burned on my back realy bad. for dinner we made Hobo dinners and hung out by the fire. I had to go back early to clean up the kitchen so me and Collin went and ended up having a great conversation about him and Jenn and I talked about things with Kelsey. It was the first time we really hung out 1 on 1 overall a great day!

Day 28 Friday June 18th

Friday started with luggage runs then I helped with breakfast. On Friday I found out one of our counselors (Ben) Got denied insurance so he can't drive camp vehicles. So I got moved to working with a crew to deep clean the bathrooms on Fridays and that took till lunch.

After lunch we had debrief which went very well, there were very few things we had on the bad list. After debrief I played soccer with Alex (Bible study guy) for at least and hour. Excursions got back. Back to seeing Kelsey! Also I had to help Derek for like an hour to set up for our tent bonding (Highland games) which I did not want to do but he needed it and none of the other counselors stepped up. After dinner I was talking with Kelsey and she looked over and was like is that your whole bible study waiting for you? I had to be honest so I told he it was and that was the end of our conversation lol. (Thanks bible study guys!)

So for bible study me and my guys went to castle rock and climbed up on it for bible study. They all shared their testimonies which as good for our group. for bible study we went over Hebrews 12:1-13 we had a good bible study and then hiked back and went to bed.

Day 27 Thursday June 17th

On Thursday I had laundry duty. So after Devotions the two store crew girls and I filled the van with everyone's laundry and headeed down the mountain and stopped for some coffee on the way to the laundry mat.

Laundry turned out to be fun but a pretty intense experience. Bible study Thursday night was really good. We went through phil 2:1-18 and it lead to some very good discusion. I specifically remember Chris brought up struggling to have a fear of God V12 and that really resinated with me. We talked about how we are missrepresenting God if we do not focus on all of his characteristics but just focus on a few (Love/Grace) I feel like a lot of this view comes from so many "Christians" being an unch deep and getting converted but not discipled. Also the church might be to evangilistic in the sense of trying to be appealing to the none believer. I don't know if that is it or if we are just drwan to certain characteristics of God.

Anyways it was just a great bible study and challenged me to be aware of all Gods characteristics and trying to have an understanding of his whole character.

Day 26 June 16th

Wednesday was good I lead PM service as usual so during my free time in the Morning I played risk with some of the P.M. guys. We had a blast but we were never able to finish.

Wednesday night we had a prayer night for worship. it was a really good experience and sweet to share in that with the kids. I got to pray for all my bible study guys individually. lately it has been hard to wake up I feel like my discipline in getting up is slipping. I'm starting to snooze a lot.

Day 25 June 15th

Well I am a few days late in journaling about Tuesday but I had a one-on-one w/Nate which did not go very well. I wouldn't get him to go in depth about anything. I was a little disappointed afterwards but I just realized we might just have to go do some adventure type things for our one on ones. I lead the am crew on Tuesday as usual. Overall I think it went smoothly.

I also Had a chance on Tuesday to talk with Jenn for a while before our meeting. It was really good to have an actual conversation with her, she is super cool and I fell like we could be getting along a lot better but I was intentional early on not to really spend time with her along because collin has liked her for a while and I didn't want to start any drama or anything but I could see her becoming one of my really good friends. she is just very down to earth and real about things.

Day 24 Monday June 14th

I woke up a little later than normal on Monday but I wanted to try and keep my sleep schedule. I had a god quiet time and then spent the morning working on bible study, reading laker articles, watching the world cup, and catching up on all things internet. Hack came home around lunch time and asked me to go to lunch.

He even told me he called Hanley to get my number to get a hold of me if I wasn't at their house. I was sure "The conversation" was going to go down at lunch. I was even contemplating how I would answer gender roles question or talk about my walk. But lunch happened and Jack never asked me any hard questions or real personal questions. I was confused to say the least. possibly even slightly dissapointed after lunch we went back to their house and watched the end of a world cup game. I continued to wait for the questions or the out of the blue "so I hear you like my daughter"

But nothing, then we decided to play some horse in the driveway and still no questions. We had fun and jack won both games. A little while later I left for camp having answered no hard questions. I stopped at a BBQ place and my phone rang it was Jack, I thought ok here we go, but he just made fun of me for losing in horse. Overall it was a good day off and I was able to catch up with a few people.

Day 23 Sunday June 13

Sunday morning was pretty typical. I met with Cole in the morning and when we had finished he asked me if I liked Kelsey. That was awkward but I didn't want to lie to him so I told him the truth. I feel like a lot of people know now.

The speaker at chapel was a long time navigator and his message was about walking with God and how he wanted his life to be defined by that. It was very encouraging talk that was so big picture focused. How much more desirable is it to have your life defined by your relationship with Christ than by anything else?

The rest of the day was pretty typical I left at eight for my day off and headed down to the mcqueeney's house. I was nervous heading down because I was pretty sure Jack was wanting to have a talk with me. I was thinking about it the whole way down. I was nervous but I really wanted to feel freedom in Gods will. We ended up not talking Sunday night besides a little sports.

Day 22 June 12th

U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A!!!!!!

I was planning on spending the night at the Mcqueeney's but I was late to leave Friday and decided to just get up early and go down. I had plans to make breakfast for everyone with Kelsey. Turns out excitment got the best of me and I went down way to early and Kelsey was still sleeping and we texted a bit and I just decided to go ahead and go to Denver. So I grabbed some coffee at Starbucks and hit the road.

I drove to Denver sulking in disappointment, it was not a very fun drive and it was raining and I had no directions. On the way there Kelsey texted me and said her dad was making waffles and asked where I was..... I seriously almost turned the car around and drove back 45 minutes. When I got into Denver I found a Panera and chilled on the internet for a while until Mergens was ready for me to come over. Then I went over to Mergens and talked with him and his wife, which was a lot of fun and we talked about Kelsey and she gave me some good advice (Conflicting from other advice but good) and then we went down town to meet up with Fejlstad to watch the USA vs England game.

Yes, they all drank beer while I drank like 6 Cokes to drown my pain in sugar. The game was a lot of fun and It was sweet that the USA tied England. After the game everyone had plans so I just hit the road back to the Springs and tried to get ahold of Kelsey and Cole but neither responded to my texts. I found out later that Jack was bummed I didn't hang out at Kelsey's because he thought I said we were going to watch the game together. I think Jack likes me and that is Huge.

Camp Life

Wow how camp life is flying by. This Friday our crew campers go home..... That is crazy it seems like they just got here and it has almost been five weeks. I had my day off today, that was needed. But I wasn't very productive in it. My bucket list for the last two weeks of camp is struggling. But when we got back I got to meet up with Mark and we talked for like two hours. It was amazing. He shared some seriously deep stuff with me that I would not have expected for him to share. It was pretty crazy.

It was so cool to be able to meet with Mark, I feel like I have really started to get to know him and we have gotten a lot closer. I felt so honored that he shared so much with me. It was just amazing to hear him say how much he wanted to meet with me and how he really enjoyed it. I got to talk to him a bit about Kelsey and about the Contract (Tommy's wedding) I felt very encouraged and challenged about Tommy's wedding.

I have fallen so far behind on journals and on updating them to the blog. That is on my two week bucket list actually. So after me and Mark talked tonight I felt very in need of some time in prayer and in the word. Also I have been taking care of some other things since then. It is now 12:40 and I am exhausted but I have really enjoyed the time I have spent up. I really hope God comes through in answering my prayer for more energy for these last fews days of first session.

I got a chance to send my family a very long email giving them an update on camp. That was so good to get done. I'm sure they will appreciate it. Tonight when me and Mark talked I was so encouraged, and really saw a lot of the blessing God has poured on me this summer. Wow thank you Lord, I feel so undeserving.

I have been having a problem of keeping my flashlight with me so tonight I had to grab one out of lost and found so I can use it to get back to my tent. Anyways I'm pretty sure this is the flashlight of some 10 year old girl camper here at camp. LOL

I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with Kelsey and I'm praying that she will offer for me to go with her this weekend to the wedding she is in because I would totally go. I really hope she asks me/ I'm going to kind of invite myself. But I'm hopeful I will get a chance to talk to her soon. Lord I'm stepping out in faith and I feel like I'm being obedient in that. We shall see.

I've been spending a lot of time this summer praying for a mentor when I go back to school and for opportunities to be a light and share my faith with guys in my Fraternity. I feel like maybe all this time I've spent in the Fraternity could pay off after all.

Well I'm exhausted so I have to go get some sleep. 4 hours yay! lol

Ask and you shall......

We all know the saying "Ask and you shall receive". Well a common thread I run into at camp is "pray for big things", or "God is going to do big things, don't be afraid to ask". I have always struggled with this idea of asking God for "big" things or the saying God is going to do "big things this summer". Isn't God always doing big things? and what is different about this summer than last? I think I struggle to believe that God is going to work more intensely this summer than last, or that our prayers and our desires will change how much God works here.

John 15:7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you.

I think I usually just chalk un-answered(Or an answer of no) up to me not remaining in God or not being in understanding of his will.

I'm currently working on claiming some of God's promises and growing in those promises.

The bible seems clear that if we ask we shall receive. Mark 11:24, Psalm 37:4, Matt 21:22, John 14:13, john 15:16, and John 16:23-24.

John 16:23-24 is especially confusing to me. 23 In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.24. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

I can deal with that but then 25. Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. 26 In that day you will ask in my name. I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf.

What does that mean?

I think another reason I struggle with this idea of asking for "BIG" things is because I feel jaded by "Christian" Culture and having people talk this ish my whole life and just thinking is this just something you say because your at church or because God came up in conversation?

I probably just sound like a fool to anyone reading this right now......

Maybe part of my situation is that there is a deeper fear that I will reach out in faith and God won't answer, not because he can't but because he will choose not to and that it would somehow negatively affect how I view my relationship with God. Almost like if he doesn't answer then I will just think "well clearly I'm not in line with God's will, or God apparently isn't to concerned with the work I'm trying to do right now". I don't know if that makes sense. This is straight out of my brain to the page and I'm pretty sure I forgot the filter this morning. Well Derek just showed up. We were supposed to meet this morning and he is about an hour late. LOL

I guess my question is just "what do you think about BIG prayers", Or that idea that if we are within God's will he will grant us the things we ask for"?